I always love watching the Oscars and since they're tonight I really wanted to do an Oscars-themed post but we're still in the Gossip Girl countdown so I'll hold off on that. I will, however, keep the ceremony in mind and at the forefront of this post; it's just that instead of talking about the Academy Awards, I'm going to give out my own awards-the Gosscars. (Soooo creative, right?)
Rather than the traditional fare-best actor, tress, original screenplay, picture, director, etc.-I'm going to go with a high school yearbook Senior Superlative theme. Now, I don't know about your high schools, but at mine we gave out a large variety of awards (everything from Most School Spirit and Most Likely to Succeed to Biggest Redneck and Biggest Airhead...no kidding. I think they've toned the Superlatives down a bit since I graduated...our class had some controversy when a certain someone on the yearbook staff tried to fix her own win as BOTH Most Beautiful and Most Talented. Um, no comment.) My claim to fame? Biggest Procrastinator. My parents beamed with delight when I told them this and knew they'd sufficiently prepared me for college.
So, in no particular order, here are the 2010 Gosscars, THS (not St. Jude's, Constance or even NYU)-style. We're going to skip the formalities (i.e. nominees-unimportant) and go straight to the awards. Because I'm lazy.
BEST DRESSED
And the Gosscar goes to...CHUCK BASS and BLAIR WALDORF.
When I watch the show, I admit- Serena's caramely leather jackets, floaty cardigans, and stellar shoes often make it to the top of my "I Want That Now" list (a list on which things almost never get crossed off). But Chuck's no-holds-barred, "Here I Am, I'm a Billionaire" style just can't be beat, even if Bart did wonder "why [Chuck] wore so much purple." Additionally, Blair's super-luxuriDICULous wardrobe represents the ultimate embodiment of Unattainable Chic.
^Normal.
BIGGEST REDNECK
And the Gosscar goes to...GABRIEL EDWARDS.
This is a joke, of course, because this guy was about as redneck-y as Vanessa Abrams, but since my high school included it in its yearbook I felt the need to include it here. And Gabriel was from North Carolina...not really the Merle Haggard Clone capital of the world, but a Southern state nonetheless. Blair called him a redneck, and even though she was way off base, he was probably the closest thing to a redneck she'll ever come across in her life.
^Yep, that's EXACTLY what a redneck looks like. Or just what another one of Serena's skeezy BFs looks like.
BIGGEST PROCRASTINATOR
And the Gosscar goes to...CHUCK BASS.
Because it took him till the end of season 2 to finally say "I love you" to Blair, even though he'd already admitted it to Nate and Serena and even Dorota (well, in so many words). About time.
^Clearly taken in season 3, post-ILY.
MOST SCHOOL SPIRIT
And the Gosscar goes to...DAN HUMPHREY.
How sick did everyone get of hearing him whine about Yale and how much he wanted to go there? Too bad Poppy and Gabriel scammed Rufus out of Dan's tuition $$. But Dan wins this award based mostly on his resilience; while Blair has had trouble adjusting to the reality that she is Actually Attending NYU (J-Schwartz has even hinted that in upcoming episodes she'll be "questioning her NYU decision"), Dan has embraced his non-Ivy college with gusto by developing a sudden penchant for flannel shirts, messenger bags, and trysts with former child stars and childhood best friends. Um, cool, Dan. Well, at least he's no longer a pale imitation of Seth Cohen.
BEST HAIR
And the Gosscar goes to...NATE ARCHI(not)BALD.
Though Serena's golden tresses might seem to be the obvious choice here, her naturally amazing mane can't compare to the changes Nate's hair has undergone. From a purely evolutionary standpoint, Mr. Nathaniel Archibald takes the cake on this one. Remember the gelled butt-cut from the pilot episode? Just look at him now. That, my friends, is a winner.
^Pilot episode...GE(L)EZ.
^My, my, how far he's come.
MOST LIKELY TO SUCCEED
And the Gosscar goes to...CHUCK BASS.
The name of this award? Pretty laughable. It should probably be "Most Likely to Take Over the Universe."
MOST ARTISTIC
And the Gosscar goes to...VANESSA ABRAMS.
So, no one on the show is actually all that artistic, but at least Vanessa makes a concerted effort, via her bangles 'n baubles, patterned tights, lack of Blairesque headbands, and status as the only minority in the core cast (sorry to be non-PC, but I'm not going to beat around the bush here), to convince us of her seriousness about filmmaking.
^Artsy/Moody V.
CUTEST COUPLE
And the Gosscar goes to...TRIP AND MAUREEN VANDERBILT.
This is a total joke, obvs, and Chair would definitely be the shoo-ins, but maybe by putting a mention of their marriage out in the universe they will somehow end up back together and out of our lives and, more importantly, AWAY FROM SERENA, who still raises my blood pressure when I even just THINK about her involvement with Trip. UGH.
^Couldn't find a picture of them together (that's a bad sign in itself). That's Maureen and Nate.
TEACHER'S PET
And the Gosscar goes to...DAN HUMPHREY.
Three words: Ms. Carr. Ew.
^Need I say more?
I fully admit that this post was a bit of a copout. I'm lacking on the creativity front since I've been writing about only one subject for a whole week (well, besides all the real papers I've had to write). Once the show returns (TOMORROW!!! TOMORROW!!! TOMORROW!!!!) I'll write a recap and then talk about some other things. Maybe.
By the way...DEFINITELY getting my coffee shop shift covered tomorrow night. It's from 6:30-10:00. Nothankyou. I'm not even going to bother lying. I'm just going to tell someone that I've been waiting for GG's return for like a century (or 2 months, but what's the difference?) and refuse to be brewing blend and cutting brie when I could potentially be Serenated or allowed to feast on some delicious Bass.
1 MORE DAY.
xoxo
Serena didn't win anything thank God! I like Serena I guess but all the other characters are just WAY better and WAY less annoying. and they don't WHINE ALL THE TIME - as Serena does. i pretty much peed my pants when i realized it was tomorrow. tears of joy actually started to well up in my eyes. i felt a bit over dramatic, but really not at all.
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